As I sit reflecting on my first weekend alone after five weekends straight of visitors, I think we should talk about the art of being alone.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am the most grateful and thankful for the visitors that I have on my travels but I do have to say that my social battery needed a reset and a break. Also unironically, my immune system was screaming at me to be still and stay in the house for a minute as well, lol.
As someone that spends a greater amount of their time alone, and has become accustomed to this alone time, there is always a period of adjustment. Both in preparing to not be alone on my travels and the after effects of having to go back to solo travel when said company leaves.
I typically have an ongoing list of activities that I could do alone, but it would either be more fun or more safe with someone else, so I reserve those for when I know I have guests in town. So, if you’re wondering how I always seem to have the most perfectly curated itinerary when you visit, that’s not coincidental.
While I would like to say that I feel comfortable and confident in doing anything alone, that is just simply not the case. In some instances, it wouldn’t be the safest either. Plus there are just some things that are more fun when you have your best friend to do it with!
But again, the vast majority of the time that I spend in these destinations it is important to remember that I am exploring alone.
The confidence that I have in myself to do things alone now is much greater than it has ever been. However, there are times when I have to give myself a pep talk in the mirror before doing an activity solo for the umpteenth time.
How do I get back into the swing of doing things alone when I haven’t had to do so in a while?
Great question.
First order of business typically requires some sulking and feeling sorry for myself due to the fact that I will have to be my sole entertainment over the weekend. After allowing myself some time to adjust to being in a space with just myself again, I think of the things that I know I enjoy doing alone. It is much easier to dip your toes back in if you are starting from a place of comfortability.
This past weekend, that consisted of taking a day trip to a new beach town and enjoying a sunset swim followed by dinner at a restaurant I both feel comfortable going to alone and enjoy going to alone.
Quite literally easing myself back into the routine of solo exploring.
With that being said, I can honestly say that I enjoy my own company. Which wasn’t always the case. Believe it or not, there was a point in time that I didn’t even want to go to the grocery if my roommate wasn’t going as well. And going to the bar alone?? Couldn’t have been me.
Now, my internal compass is fine tuned in a way that I never had to think about before.
What are my genuine likes and dislikes?
What are some of the hobbies that I have been wanting to try out?
Do I like to spend my Saturday evenings out on the town, or do I prefer a night in?
I have learned so much about myself through spending time with myself over the course of the last 18 months. It's important to place emphasis on the fact that it wasn’t just time spent with myself, it was genuine time.
Learning how to put the phone down, and become comfortable with the silence.
Trying a new hobby, and being surprised when it’s something that you actually like. You’d be amazed at the things you would be willing to do, or try, that you might find that you enjoy when you don’t have someone chirping in your ear.
I’ve become intentional about my interactions with others when I am in a more social setting. Again, putting the phone down and working to build real life connections, you never know who you’ll be sitting next to.
It makes me sad to think about all of the missed opportunities there have been in my life when it comes to experiencing something new. I missed out on concerts to some of my favorite artists, eating at cool restaurants, grabbing a fun cocktail, exploring a new city all because I didn’t want to go alone.
How many people out there are there like this?
Company is always great, but there is also greatness in learning how to spend and enjoy time with your own company.
Once you have overcome your fear of perception (because I think that is really all that it is) I can promise you that you will experience a peace you haven’t felt before.
Thank me later.
