Lonely Season

Lonely season, my least favorite of them all. 

Let’s talk about it. 

This is a subject that I often have people asking me about, but it's one that I don’t love talking about. However, I think that I need to start. I am working on being more transparent and real about all aspects of travel, including this one. 

 

Solo traveling and the feeling of loneliness are not mutually exclusive. 

Unfortunately, you can stand in a room full of people and still find yourself feeling lonely. 

So how do we navigate feeling lonely? 

I need everyone first to remove the negative preconceived notions that they have about the word lonely. It is often used in a negative context, however, being lonely isn’t always necessarily a bad thing. 

The most recent conversation I had about traveling solo was one that someone had with me where they expressed feeling pity for me as I am navigating this chapter alone. 

I am begging you to stop feeling sorry for people that are choosing to navigate the world around them alone. 

 

 

I know there will come a time in which I don’t need to, or won’t want to navigate my world alone, but for now, this is what feels right.

It is incredibly hard to think beyond the societal standards that we have been exposed to since a very young age. It isn’t right for a woman to be exploring the world on her own. How dare she prioritize herself and feel comfortable doing so alone?

Ultimately, it goes against what most consider to be “normal”. So the discomfort that some feel when they hear about my situation is understandable. 

I mean, it was only in 1974 that a woman was able to sign up for a credit card without a male co-signer. I can see exactly why my situation pushes the boundaries on what some feel is acceptable and not. 

It is hard looking back and imagining what life was like prior to choosing this nomadic lifestyle. Even though the journey started less than two years ago, sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. It is equally as difficult when envisioning a future without travel. 

There are often days where I feel on top of the world, and there are days that I find more difficult to navigate. These usually result in sending my therapist a message asking for a session to help get my mind back on the right track. 

That’s okay. That’s normal. 

No matter where I am in the world, I can without a doubt say that this would also be the case. 

As of lately, the feeling of being lonely has been more present than usual. 

Why is that? 

Lots of reasons. 

 

 

While I love it when the seasons change, the leaves turn a bright orange and the weather starts getting a bit cooler, it also brings with it changing emotions. There is a reason why the term seasonal depression exists. 

The shorter days and less daylight are thought to chemically change components within our brain that provide people with similar symptoms of depression. 

This topic has been at the forefront of the last few discussions I have had with my therapist. Discussing how important it is to keep our same routines during this time. For example, waking and sleeping at consistent times, continuing the same exercise regime and continuing to withhold boundaries. 

Yes, that means not reaching out to that ex that you have been thinking about. 

You’re cold and tired, pick up a book and a blanket, not the phone. 

In all seriousness, this is the perfect time for me to continue leaning into the lonely. Working to further push the boundaries of my comfortability and learning to be appreciative of each and every season. Yes, even including the lonely ones. 

The days when I find that the lonely gets the better of me, there are a few things that I do to try and help combat the feeling. First being that of practicing gratitude. This one is hard, and takes conscious effort to do. It is usually difficult feeling grateful for something that often feels burdensome. 

I know that I will likely never have the amount of time that I do now to spend getting to know myself, learning my likes and dislikes all while being incredibly selfish. In the best way possible. 

There will come a time where I cannot freely pour into my cup in the ways that I have during this journey. I am trying to be thankful for the solitude and appreciate all of the ‘me’ time I am getting.

Second would be reaching out to family and friends, making a bigger effort to stay connected. Whether that is planning upcoming trips for them to visit me on my travels, planned FaceTime's or upcoming holiday get-togethers. Being intentional about the time and energy I put into those that help me to feel less lonely. Having something, and someone to look forward to connecting with helps a lot more than you would expect! 

It is likely during this time of year you are not the only one battling with conflicting emotions. I am sure that you reaching out would mean more than you could imagine. 

Lastly, even on the days that I don’t want to, I get out of my unit and continue with the intentional connections within the communities that I am living in. I cannot emphasize how important it is to get out of the house and socialize with the people that reside in your community. 

Especially so for us remote workers. There are some weeks in which my only human contact would be google meetings with my coworkers if I didn’t make the effort to get out and about. 

Working from home is the very best but can also have its negatives as well if you do not put forth the effort to leave your home, ever. 

The more that I continue to learn and grow I am beginning to understand that there is such peace in solitude. 

There would be times that a past me would fill her weekends so full with people and activities, she didn’t have the chance to breathe. Which I think was sometimes a disservice. One can also spend so much time filling their schedules in hopes of avoiding spending quality time with themselves.

After putting in the work, I am finally experiencing what it means to love your own company. 

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I am pretty great. 

For now, I couldn’t be more thankful, or grateful to have the chance to experience a season in which I am okay being lonely.